Endings and Beginnings for 2016

2015 has been my 34th year in this world; as me. Sandra. Woman. Mother. Daughter. Sister. Cousin. Aunt. Friend. Advocate. Humanitarian. Storyteller. Wanderer. Quiet Riot. Lover of life.

34 will come to an end on January 5th, 2016. In just 3 days, I will be turning 35. I’m excited!!

If you’ve been following along, you know that 17 is my number. The number that symbolizes both beginnings and ends for me.

34 marks 2 complete rounds of my 17. If the first 17 years of my life were used to find myself and my purpose, the next 17 were for building that foundation.

I’ve known for a long time that this was going to be one of the biggest years of my life. Another turning point. A game changer. I knew this, and yet, I underestimated just how life changing this year was going to be.

I’m on the 17th chapter of my second book of life. Today, I’m just putting the final edits on my conclusion. The ending.

But like all good endings, this one is just another beginning.

As I wrap up the conclusion to volume 2, I have already framed the introduction for my volume 3.

I have never been one for resolutions. Creating a resolution implies that you have a problem that is in need of solving. I don’t believe in problems; just opportunities for continued growth. So, instead of resolutions, I dedicate a word to the year ahead. A word that will guide me and help shape the rest of it. 2015 started and ended with “create”.

CREATE

Create opportunities for speaking to share messages and knowledge.

Create art in every aspect of my life.

Create my story by writing more openly and freely.

Create opportunities to physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally explore even more parts of the world.

Create the space in myself for the absorption of knowledge and truth.

Create the life I want to live for the next 17.

In 2015, I created more than I thought possible and am now looking more forward to 2016 than ever.

The word I have assigned to 2016 is “invest”.

INVEST

Invest my energy into the relationships that I value and less in those that do not nurture my soul.

Invest in myself by doing more of the things I’ve always enjoyed and making time to do the things I have always wanted to do.

Invest in my health by continuing to make it a top priority.

Invest in ideas that I have for personal and professional growth.

Invest my finances in travel, education and other ways that will continue to enhance my future self.

Invest in my legacy by continuing to share my story and expanding the reach of my knowledge, experience and truth.

Invest in love because I have neglected that part of myself for far too long.

I don’t know what the next 17 years has in store for me. What I do know, is that I’ve never been more excited to be alive. Happy New Year everyone!!!

My to-do list.

Here I am. 

It’s the eve of my long awaited 17. 

17 years on borrowed time. 

I made it!

There were days when I wasn’t sure I would. 

But here I am. 

Closing one chapter tonight, starting a new one tomorrow. A chapter full of wonderful adventures. Creative expression.  Personal freedom.  Love. Life. And so much laughter.

A chapter full of whatever it is that my little heart desires.  

I’m so excited, I can’t even express it with words.  There is no smile big enough, no jump high enough, no screech loud enough to express this kind of excitement.  This feeling.  This moment is mine.  Only mine. 

I’ve done so much with my time here. I’ve lived. I’ve lost. I’ve moved. And moved. And moved.  I’ve travelled. I’ve loved. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve given life.  I’ve raised children. I’ve married. I’ve owned property. I’ve learned. And learned. And learned. I’ve worked. I’ve failed. I’ve succeeded. I’ve jumped. I’ve landed.  I’ve created. I’ve written. I’ve danced. I’ve played. And played. And played. 

Oh, how I have truly lived my 34 years.

And still, I have a long list of things to do. Things to see. Things to feel. Experience. Witness.  Hear. Touch. Smell.  So many things to look forward to. 

The most important lesson I’ve learned is that the only guarantee you get in life, is death.  No date. No time. Sometimes no warning whatsoever. Just an end and the knowledge that it will come.  

I’ve been fortunate to have already been given 17 years of borrowed time.  I’m proud of what I’ve done with it.  But I’m far from done. 

My to-do list is long.  But I have no idea how much time I will have left.  So, I’m making a promise to myself. A promise to keep crossing those items off my list. To put more energy into the things I want to accomplish and less focus on the things I cannot control.

As I was reading over my list, I started to reflect on the people that have been in my life.  I thought about friendships, relationships, co-workers, family. People who have a to-do list of their own. People who have added me to their lists. People I’ve added to mine.  I thought about how many people in my life never truly cross off their items.  How so many people allow life to get in the way of them living.  I thought about how many things I’ve missed out on because I waited for them to be ready.  For timing to be right. For everyone involved to be in a good financial position.  I’ve waited on others because at some point, I told them I would.  Because my word meant something. 

Not anymore!!!

No more promises to others.  From now on, my to-do list is mine alone.  It will only involve those who are ready and able to do it when I’m ready and able to do it.  If I want to travel, I will travel with whoever is ready to go. If I want to jump out of a plane, I will jump with whoever is willing. If I want to learn another language, I will do so with someone who wants to follow the same process. Sports. Movies. Activities. School. I will do whatever I want. Whenever I’m ready. Whenever I’m able. And alone if I must.  Happily.  

Clean slate. 

My life is mine to live. 

MY experience. These are MY memories. MY laughter. MY tears.  MY gift.  

This is MY to-do list.

And I’m doing it.