So my preteen (from hell) decided to lose his shit the other day. It was awful. Hours of screaming, crying, threatening to run away. His hormones are raging and he’s struggling.
Luckily, or unluckily for him, he has two parents who are in this field. So, he gets a mix of conversation and problem solving possible strategies for helping to manage his anger. Not in those words exactly but let’s just call it what it is.
One of the things we tell him to do sometimes when he starts to escalate is to go take a bath. Cool down. Relax. Enjoy some quiet time in a private space. Process your thoughts before reacting. Take the damn time out. Take it before I throw you out the window!!!! But I don’t tell him that last part, that’s an inside voice.
This was one of the options presented to him the other day. He thought it might be a good idea, which made me happy. His time out also helps me get MY time out! It’s a double bonus.
We decided to go for a mommy/son run first. I love those times. We have some pretty serious conversations while walking. He tries to talk when we are running but that’s not my thing. Normally, I run with music but I’m on momma bear high alert when I run with my kids, so listening to music is not an option. To not have music is already annoying enough but when he tries to talk, I’m not having it. Our mommy/son runs involve intervals because of this; jog, walk, sprint, walk, jog, etc.
We jog next to each other during our jog periods.
We have serious conversations about serious issues while walking.
We full out race during the sprints (I still kill him in the races).
This is what we do. It’s our thing. One of our many things. I love it.
So, we choose to do that on this night, which brings me back to the original reason for this blog…
BOYS
ARE
GROSS
The bath was an option that was on the table for cooling down. We had already established that before going for a run. Going for a run meant he would be taking one anyway. So, when we got home, I asked him if he was going to take his bath now.
He looked at me and said “I’m just going to take a bath to relax, I’m not going to use soap or anything.”
Really?
You’re already doing EVERYTHING else, why not take a couple minutes and wash the preteen/just went for a run stink off your body?
Gross! Gross! Gross!
It got me thinking about the million times this, or something like this has happened. At home. At work. Everywhere. People “fake” clean themselves ALL the time!!!! I see it everywhere.
I see it at home all the time with my disgusting boys. I see them wet their hands with water and run as far away in the other direction in hopes I don’t notice. I’ve seen them sprinkle water on the soap to make it look like they used it. I’ve seen them put just enough soap on their hands to make them smell good in case I ask to smell them when they leave. Gross!
I see it in public washrooms from the door cracks. I watch people turn on the water and stand in front of it and play with their hair until the water has been running long enough to make whoever is in there believe that they washed their hands. Then they ruffle some paper towels, throw it out and call it a day! Gross!
That shit takes thought and effort. You could have actually washed your hands more easily and quickly then in the time it took you to pretend.
If you’re already making all that effort anyway, why not just do it? Or not do it. Pretending just seems like a waste of time. Own your grossness or clean yourself properly.
I don’t get it.
After all that, my son and I decided to make smoothies before the bath. Chocolate peanut butter banana strawberry almond milk hemp hearts and chia seeds smoothie, to be exact. Yum!!! Somehow we got to talking while enjoying our smoothies. Then it was bedtime and he kissed me goodnight and went to bed.
About 20 minutes later, I realized there was no bath. He got me! Punk!!!!
He IS gross but at least he owns his grossness.
And miles to go before I sleep 