Education vs Extracurricular Activities

Recently, there has been a lot of talk in the media about the amount of money parents are spending on extracurricular activities for their children. When this story is featured, there is often a financial expert present to stress the importance of putting away savings for your child’s education. Statistics get thrown around about the extremely low odds that your child will ever get to play in the NHL, NBA, MLB, etc. Because this level of play is not likely, the message is always clear, parents should reevaluate where they focus their finances.

This is a debate I have found myself in several times over the course of my life. On a personal level, I have 3 children, who have all played sports at a competitive level and have studied music and arts programs. On a professional level, I have been responsible for recreational and educational programming for children and youth, nationally and internationally.

This argument is one that I VERY strongly disagree with.

When we talk about young people in sports, we simply argue that they likely will not make it to the highest level of play. Ok, fine; this isn’t entirely false. Most children will not grow up to be the next Gretzky, James, Curry, Ronaldo. They won’t. While that can sometimes be a difficult pill for parents to swallow, I think most parents actually accept that as the truth. What I have difficulty accepting is why we are not talking about all the other benefits of activity and teamwork?

– Physical activity/exercise
– Health promotion
– Social development/peer interaction
– Quality family time
– An opportunity to stay out of trouble.
– Conflict resolution
– Stress management/self care
– Discipline
– Focus
– Skill development

I could go on for a very long time here, but I think you get the point.

Yes, education is expensive and costs will likely continue to rise as our children get older, but there are so many more options now to help subsidize the cost. There are several grants and scholarships to apply for and many young people are choosing to study through paid apprenticeship programs. But let’s flip that argument for a minute and consider that not all children will make it to, or choose, traditional Post-Secondary studies. Without a crystal ball to predict who and what your child will grow up to be, it makes perfect sense for parents to focus on the present; the first 18 years leading up to post secondary. My concern is with providing the best opportunity for my children NOW so they have the skills necessary to be successful in a school environment; many of which they will develop through involvement in these extracurricular activities.

So maybe my children won’t play in the NHL; I personally don’t care if they ever get that high. BUT what if they are good enough to earn a partial or full scholarship to support them in post secondary?  What if they are able to play at a professional level outside of the NHL?  Since when have the NBA, MLB, WNBA, NHL, etc been the only goal for sports?  What if they don’t want to play professionally but love it so much that they allow it to shape the rest of their careers.  Coaches, sports doctors, physiotherapists, massage therapists, sports agents, physical education teachers, personal trainers, nutritionists, so many professions begin with a passion for sports.  A passion that often starts early in life; through participation in the very activities that we argue spending money on.

You see, rather than criticizing the choice a parent has made, what we should be talking about is why these opportunities cost so much in the first place. Why parents are even having to make a decision between paying for their children’s sports and saving for their post secondary education. Why some children have the opportunity to do both, and some can’t do either. We should be looking at what we can do to promote these skills and allow opportunities for ALL children to participate so that parents don’t have to make the difficult choice or financial sacrifice.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a strong advocate for education and stress it’s importance, both at home and in my professional career. I am. But we live in a world that forgets the value of life experience and diversity.  We live in a world that contributes billions of dollars to health care, but very little to the activities that could help build habits and lifestyles that could prevent some of the most deadly diseases/illnesses we are seeing. We live in a world where extra curricular activities have become the only way some children can even consider post secondary education as an option.

Maybe, just maybe, we are asking the wrong questions.

Boys are gross. 

So my preteen (from hell) decided to lose his shit the other day.  It was awful. Hours of screaming, crying, threatening to run away. His hormones are raging and he’s struggling.  

Luckily, or unluckily for him, he has two parents who are in this field. So, he gets a mix of conversation and problem solving possible strategies for helping to manage his anger. Not in those words exactly but let’s just call it what it is.

One of the things we tell him to do sometimes when he starts to escalate is to go take a bath. Cool down. Relax. Enjoy some quiet time in a private space. Process your thoughts before reacting. Take the damn time out.  Take it before I throw you out the window!!!!  But I don’t tell him that last part, that’s an inside voice. 

This was one of the options presented to him the other day. He thought it might be a good idea, which made me happy. His time out also helps me get MY time out!  It’s a double bonus. 

We decided to go for a mommy/son run first.  I love those times. We have some pretty serious conversations while walking. He tries to talk when we are running but that’s not my thing.  Normally, I run with music but I’m on momma bear high alert when I run with my kids, so listening to music is not an option.  To not have music is already annoying enough but when he tries to talk, I’m not having it. Our mommy/son runs involve intervals because of this; jog, walk, sprint, walk, jog, etc.  

We jog next to each other during our jog periods.  

We have serious conversations about serious issues while walking.  

We full out race during the sprints (I still kill him in the races).  

This is what we do. It’s our thing. One of our many things.  I love it. 

So, we choose to do that on this night, which brings me back to the original reason for this blog…

BOYS

ARE

GROSS 

The bath was an option that was on the table for cooling down.  We had already established that before going for a run.  Going for a run meant he would be taking one anyway. So, when we got home, I asked him if he was going to take his bath now.  

He looked at me and said “I’m just going to take a bath to relax, I’m not going to use soap or anything.”

Really?

You’re already doing EVERYTHING else, why not take a couple minutes and wash the preteen/just went for a run stink off your body?  

Gross!  Gross!  Gross!

It got me thinking about the million times this, or something like this has happened. At home. At work. Everywhere.  People “fake” clean themselves ALL the time!!!!  I see it everywhere. 

I see it at home all the time with my disgusting boys.  I see them wet their hands with water and run as far away in the other direction in hopes I don’t notice. I’ve seen them sprinkle water on the soap to make it look like they used it. I’ve seen them put just enough soap on their hands to make them smell good in case I ask to smell them when they leave. Gross!  

I see it in public washrooms from the door cracks. I watch people turn on the water and stand in front of it and play with their hair until the water has been running long enough to make whoever is in there believe that they washed their hands.  Then they ruffle some paper towels, throw it out and call it a day!  Gross! 

That shit takes thought and effort.  You could have actually washed your hands more easily and quickly then in the time it took you to pretend. 

If you’re already making all that effort anyway, why not just do it?  Or not do it. Pretending just seems like a waste of time. Own your grossness or clean yourself properly.

I don’t get it.

After all that, my son and I decided to make smoothies before the bath. Chocolate peanut butter banana strawberry almond milk hemp hearts and chia seeds smoothie, to be exact. Yum!!!  Somehow we got to talking while enjoying our smoothies.  Then it was bedtime and he kissed me goodnight and went to bed.  

About 20 minutes later, I realized there was no bath.  He got me!  Punk!!!!  

He IS gross but at least he owns his grossness.

Systems (spoken word)

To say the system is broken
Is a fucking joke
A broken system is the
Only one we’ve ever known
For it to break it has to mean
It once functioned well
Too few in paradise
With the rest living our system’s hell
I still carry all the scars
Of walking through that fire
Channeled anger and the pain
Into a passionate desire
People questioned why I walked into
The system on my own two feet
But I travel the opposite direction
On this one way street
Change comes from within
So I knew I had to infiltrate
And so I sat and mapped out
Every move I had to make
Didn’t make it the first time I tried
Cause I was too political
So I mastered the ancient art
Of playing two different roles
Now I play both sides of the coin
Because I have to
Just as comfortable in kicks
As fancy business suits
Never hiding from my demons
I make my failures known
All the mistakes I made in life
The only way I’ve ever grown
I spill my secrets
So they don’t use them against me
Making sure the power
Stays where it’s supposed to be
And so they fear the things that
they will never understand
I don’t play by the same rules
So they try to force my hand
But outside their walls
People are blowing up their telephones
Telling them I’m changing lives
Of people they don’t care to know
Too many calls to ignore
But they want to see my contract ended
So they hand me my awards
As I walk out the door suspended
I keep a smile on my face
Cause that means more to me
Than any discipline the system
Can bring down on me
Five steps ahead is where I stay
So I get my apology
When you grow up on the streets
You learn how not to be beat
People ask me if I’m scared
To walk the streets at night
So much evil in the world
Ready for a fight
how do you fear
The only thing you’ve ever known
In city hall is where
I feel most alone
Scratching my skin
Because the egos make me itchy
I bite my tongue because
the bullshit makes me twitchy
But within the larger system
I don’t walk alone
There are a few of us
That really make it feel like home
Take my message with me
Across every division
I carry my head high
Because I know my mission
Create our own paradise
And increase the population
Fix this fucking system
And become a beautiful united nation