Shame on me

I didn’t fall in love with you, I fell in love with your potential.

With who I knew you could be; who you told me you wanted to be.

That was the problem.

I saw the future so clearly
that I didn’t pay attention to who you were in the present.

Shame on me,
for I should have known better.

I have to

I’ve waited weeks for this moment
it’s just he and I
spending hours together
laying side by side
his naked body
is tangled up in mine
he kisses me
and I look into his eyes

and I see you
no matter how hard I try
I feel you
your arms wrapped around mine

I close my eyes
as tightly as I can
and I open them
to see his face again
but I hear you
when he’s calling my name
whispering words I love to hear
but it doesn’t sound the same

I can’t get you off my mind
it’s getting hard just to breathe
I feel restless
and I try to fall asleep

I have to keep believing
it’s wrong though it feels right
I have to keep on leaving
when I want to spend the night
I have to keep from feeling
if it’s the last thing I do
I have to keep telling myself
not to fall in love with you